How it Feels to Be Depressed.
Gray. Numb.
You wake up in the morning and wish you hadn’t. Oversleeping is a common side effect of depression — the middle ground between not wanting to die, but not really wanting to live either.
Time is somehow dual-ended. It’ll feel like your skin is crawling with time maggots sucking out your energy, as seconds tick by like years. Then, an hour later, you are exasperated by how the day could have possibly slipped through your fingers so quickly.
You’ll see a closet stuffed with clothes (some clean, some not) but pick one of the two pairs of pants that you cling to like the comfort toy of a child. They’re perpetually unwashed, there is nothing so remarkable about them that would signal to a healthy mind why these pants are the only option out of a drawer of ten.
You drink the same drink and eat the same food. Consistency is security. You get the same taste and texture out of toast and apple cider (from a packet) every single time, and it brings you small happiness.
The day is drowned by your bedsheets.
There’s a phone call you need to make. An email you need to send. You want to do these things so desperately, but as you’re about to get up, cold chains slither around your body, you choke on a sob and the blankets are no longer a luxury but pure survival in…
